āHow do you know you donāt like it, if youāve never tried it?ā I heard this line over and over from so many people in my life and ya know what? It never once got me to try a new food. Instead, it caused me incredible anxiety. Even though the people saying it all meant well and just wanted me to be healthier, it just made things worse. I heard it from my mom, my teachers, my friendās parents, my grandparents and even my best friend who was only two years older than me. The pressure I felt hearing that line, made my stomach actually hurt. It certainly didnāt make me feel like trying a food I was afraid to try. The statement didnāt feel compassionate. It felt full of judgment and criticism. I vowed to never use it when I had my own kids.
To all of you struggling with a picky eater in your life, are you asking them to try foods they initially say no to? My coworker just told me that it did work with her husband when he was little so Iād love to hear all of your experiences so I can keep learning and teaching.
When my kiddos were little I also never insisted that they try things. But I think i made the mistake when they were babies (especially w my older one) of responding to much to their dislike of things. For example, whem my older son was about 7 or 8 months old, I introduced Avocado. He made this yucky face and would start to turn his head away from the spoon. So I just decided he didnt like avocado so I stopped giving it. In hindsight, I wish I had left it on his tray to play with without over-focusing on whether or not he ate any of it. I was SO anxious about my kiddo eating enough that I didn't give him enough time to explore food as an infant and toddler. I regret that. Then when he turned 9, his food issues were becoming social challenges at playdates and school events. So I DID start using insisting on "one bite" of a new food with dinner (alongside his favorite and preferred foods) every night. I did it with compassion and comfort and while acknowledging that I knew how hard it was for him. There was no time pressure. I didnt' keep saying, "try it, try it." I just had him on my lap and I gave lots of kisses. I let the TV be on (rare treat in our world) to offer some distraction since I knew this was a senosry/texture issue for him too. But I also didn't back down. Today, he has no memory of it being stressful or scary. I wish I had had this Substack work when he was younger though! So I wouldn't have to go through such an intervention at age 9.