What happens if my child doesn't eat?
I don’t remember ever feeling hungry as a child. I was so thin that I worried my mom, teachers, friend’s parents and grandparents. My best friend’s grandma was convinced I was anorexic. My mom would occasionally freak out and ask my pediatrician what to do. She loved to relay the story later, of him saying “Mrs. Brown, when she’s hungry, she’ll eat”. There are times when a child not eating is an indication of something wrong and needs to be handled by a medical professional. I have no medical background and no background in nutrition either. It was however, the messaging from my own pediatrician, that allowed me to not worry when my kids skipped a meal or two. I also didn’t worry that they were both typically in the bottom 25% for weight even though they ate literally 3x the amount of food other children their age ate. I always attributed this to the fact that most of what they ate was very healthy and they were very active. Their pediatrician never seemed concerned.
There were evenings one of them didn’t like anything we made for dinner and so I would tell them to have a glass of milk and as much fruit as they wanted from the fruit bowl that was always out and always full. Then, I would promise to make them a huge breakfast the next day (they always loved whatever I made for breakfast). I know this may be controversial, and I understand not wanting to do this, but you see, I wasn’t worried they’d be harmed, and I felt that making them something different for dinner, sent the message that if anytime they didn’t want what we had cooked, we would make something special for them. This was what it had been like for me growing up and that didn’t turn out well. Even though I may have always had a dinner I liked, be it hot dogs or spaghetti with butter, I wasn’t getting the nutrition I needed from those foods anyway and it’s been a lifelong struggle for me to learn to like healthy foods. I also found any mealtime outside of the safety of my house (with the hot dogs and plain spaghetti) extremely stressful.
It only happened a few times that my kids ended up with the glass of milk and banana for dinner and I won’t lie, they didn’t like it. My daughter didn’t eat meat for a few years, she just didn’t like it, and she didn’t eat most vegetables for 2 years (more on that subject for another time). I did always try to make one thing they liked, even if it was just the brown rice, but when it did happen that they felt there was nothing they wanted to eat at the dinner table, I always followed through on my promise of the giant breakfast the morning after.
I see parents (mostly moms) worry too much about about kids not eating enough. When they refuse to eat a delicious freshly-smoked brisket or even Whole Foods’ pizza, I see them panic and start asking their kids what they want instead. Of course they’ll say Cheeseburger or McNuggets! I think it’s a game kids learn to play, and I see moms lose all the time :)
Like you, I don’t worry when our kids (4) refuse to eat a meal. I sometimes will offer one other delicious healthy alternative, and if they refuse that, they can eat from the fruit/veggie section.
It’s also good for kids to experience a little hunger every now and then. It’s also good for parents to not lose their minds over kids’ eating habits.
I cook nearly every dinner and our kids will usually eat/try everything I cook 7/10 times. I think that’s a good enough %. Good luck!!!